Not every day can be a blue-shirt day

Gentlemen: Yes, it is true that women will instinctively flock to you like the salmon of Capistrano every time you wear a blue shirt.

But that doesn't mean you should wear one every day. Yes, I know, you want women to instinctively flock to you like the salmon of Capistrano every day. It's a wonderful thing.

But it's also exhausting. All that flocking can take a toll on you after a while, and soon you lose sight of how lucky you are to be flocked to.

So I recommend mixing in some non-blues during your week, just to humanize yourself a bit. Me? I'll be wearing black today. It's still absurdly attractive, but not quite to the degree of blue.

I estimate this will reduce my flocking by 40 percent, which is all I have the energy for after just five hours of sleep. After a long night/early morning of managing your flocks, black is the way to go.

UPDATE 8:55 a.m.: Lisa Rowan, a coworker who has a far less successful fashion blog, says my shirt is not black, but black with white pinstripes. I disagree. The pinstripes may be there, but it is simply a black shirt in my book. Keep it simple, men.